Casmisado: Volume One
by whats-crackalackin-homosexuals
Summary: Brendon couldn't believe it, his mother wouldn't put him in a boy home. She always threatened him with it, but she never would actually do it. She wouldn't do it, no, Mommy loved him. She would never do this to Brendon. Because Mommy loved Brendon. - Ryden, Ryan Ross X Brendon Urie -
1. Prologue

**A/N: Hello! I'm Zabree and this is my first fanfic on here! Hope you all like, please review. I take them to help my writing. c:**

Prologue

Brendon never meant to disappoint his mother, seeming to always mess shit up constantly. It was just hard for him; everything was hard. Seeing his mother drink constantly, bringing home strangers that she fucked with. Brendon could hear them every night, some even abused his mother in the process. He could hear her screaming, asking them to stop sometimes. Brendon was a coward though, frozen in his bed, urging himself to fall asleep before he could hear his mother get smacked again. He couldn't understand why she kept doing it, he didn't know why she never stood up for herself. Not until he woke up the next morning to go to school, seeing his mother get paid for what she was doing. With breath caught in his throat he quickly turned away, acting as if he saw nothing. Even if Brendon's mother got paid a lot, she wouldn't buy the medicine the boy needed. That's why she was always pissed at him, because he was so hyper active. He needed the ADHD pills to help him calm down, but his mother refused, yelling at him that he could handle his own damn self. Brendon was only ten, there was no way he could fucking control on how hyper he was by himself. He always tried his best for his mother though, unconditionally loving her every moment. He didn't care if she drank, did drugs, slept around with different guys. No, he still loved her. Even whenever she laid her hand on him, he didn't care. Brendon loved his mother, but his mother didn't love him the same.


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

Brendon quickly ran, broom in his hand, and slid on the floor. He was throwing a hacky sack earlier, but accidentally threw it and broke one of his mother's 'timeless' vases. He knew he was in huge trouble. His mother wasn't home though, lucky for him, but he had to clean it up quickly. Putting the dust pan on the floor, he swept up the broken glass, making sure he got all of it before dumping it in the trash can. Sighing, he quickly put the pan back, and as he closed the door he heard a car door slam shut. Panicking, he quickly went to sit on the couch, acting as if nothing had happened and he was watching TV the entire time. The front door squeaked open, hearing drunken giggles from his mother as she walked in alone. Thank God. She came over to Brendon though, Bud Light in hand as she smirked at him. She just looked plain evil, and Brendon scooted away from her a little.

"Whatcha been doin' ya little shit?" she slurred, taking another huge sip before she spilt some on the couch. "Fuck!" she growled, pushing Brendon out of the way harshly as she got up to throw the bottle away. Brendon watched her carefully, hoping she didn't look in the trash can when she threw away the alcoholic drink.

"I-I love y-you!" Brendon quickly called, his mother only scoffing before a shriek escaped her lips. She screamed loudly, and Brendon could hear the bottle crash on the ground, not even close to the trash can. Brendon could feel tears brim up in the corner of his eyes, knowing that he disappointed his mother once again.

"You little fucking dumbass! Why the fuck are you so Goddamn dumb?!" she screamed while pacing into the living room quickly. Brendon cowered in fear, scooting as far away as possible. "That was my fucking priceless vase! You fucking broke it!" she screamed again, a deranged look filling her eyes. Even if Brendon's mother was scary, she had never been this scary. She quickly gripped Brendon hair, tugging him off the couch.

"M-Mommy! I'm so-sorry! Please, don't, M-Mommy!" Brendon cried, tears now flowing as he felt some of his hair rip out. His head was on fire, and he could feel the salty tears wash down his face as he got dragged. "I di-didn't mean to-too!" he cried, feeling her other hand slap him continuous times on the back of his head.

"Oh, you didn't mean too?! Just like you didn't mean to make your father leave?!" she screamed, knowing that was Brendon's one weakness. Talking about his father like that, telling him he was the reason why he left in the first place. Brendon could feel anger build up in the pit of his stomach. He tried standing up, doing it after a few tries, and ripping his mother's hand off of his hair. He pushed her harshly, snarling as she fell to the ground. After a moment, his eyes went wide, finally realizing he laid a hand on his mother. Something he vowed never to do, ever. Brendon's mother looked up at him with her own eyes wide as well, shaking her head slowly as she got up. "You.. You.." she mumbled, her anger getting back quickly. She came up to Brendon, over towering him since she had really high heels on. Her hand collided with Brendon's face, smacking him so hard that he fell on the carpet. "You're gonna put your hands on me now? Huh?!" she yelled at the young boy, but the only thing Brendon could do was shake his head.

"N-No! I.. No, Mo-Mommy!" he shouted, "I did-didn't mean t-too!" he cried, seeing her walk off quickly. He sat up, touching his face to see that it stung horribly. Tears still fell as he heard his mother's voice in the kitchen.

"I'm sending you fucking away, you will not lay a hand on me!" she yelled, making Brendon rush in. He shook his head, repeatedly telling his mother that he was sorry about it. About everything. He couldn't be sent to a boy's home, he just couldn't. He wouldn't last one day there. He would be scared without his mother; he needed his mother. Brendon's mother was soon on the phone, talking over Brendon cries of no. She smiled eventually, saying a sweet thank you to whoever was on the phone. "There!" she exclaimed as she hung up. "There, you will be going tomorrow!" she smirked, pushing the boy out of the way, and into the hard, marble counter. Brendon could feel sharp pains run up his spine, letting out a small cry. He couldn't believe it. His mother always threatened the boy's home, but she never called them once. She never took him there ever, but he was going to leave tomorrow? Brendon slid to the floor, the palm of his hands dug into his eyes as he cried loudly. She is lying, she has to be lying. Mommy loves me, she would never send me to that horrible place.


	3. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Brendon could feel the car stop, tears stuck in his eyes because he wouldn't cry. He would be strong. With his bag in one hand, his stuffed lion Alexander in the other, he got out of the car. His mother wasn't even walking in with him.

"B-Bye Mommy, I lo-love you.." he quickly turned around and said, wanting to see his mother one last time before he left. His mother didn't say anything as she shut his door, driving off quickly without looking back once. Brendon could feel his stomach drop, his heart breaking, and he wanted to lay down and die by this point. He couldn't believe his mother didn't say goodbye. It must of been too hard for her, she will be back for me on my birthday. She will be back. She promised. Brendon walked in, seeing a woman dressed up in a black dress, only white at her chest and partly her hat, the other part being black. With a cross necklace, and a small smile, she took Brendon's note. Being really tall helped though, and she spoke to Brendon as if he was an adult.

"Hello, would you follow me?" she asked, Brendon nodding as he kept behind her quickly. He didn't want to get lost in a dreadful place like this. Her bright blue eyes made Brendon feel comfortable around the woman. "My name is Sister Abigail," she spoke quietly, opening a door to show many individual, stiff looking beds. The gray wallpaper peeling off in most parts, and the aluminum flooring looking worn out. "This is the older boy's room, you will be staying here.." she spoke, looking slightly down at Brendon. All he could do is nod as he frowned, looking over the bars on the windows. It looked like a prison. "Any questions?" she asked, opening the door to leave if Brendon had none.

"Wh-Where are t-the other bo-boys?" he asked, not that he was worried because he rather not see or interact with them. Sister Abigail just smiled as she pointed to a window, happy, older boys playing outside in the spring sun. Brendon nodded, waving a goodbye to Sister Abigail, she waved back, turning so quickly her black bangs moved a bit. Brendon made his way to his bed slowly, putting his bag under his bed, and jumping on his bed as he waited for the other boys to come in. He wanted to cry though, but he had to be strong about the situation. Mommy would want me to be strong. She wants me to be strong. He held in his broken emotions, Alexander sitting on his lap comfortably. He could hear the door open, quickly looking up to see if it was Sister or not. Only a tall boy came in, actually more of sneaking in, and he kept quiet as he watched him. From where Brendon could see, he had hazel colored eyes, long brown hair, pale skin, and worn looking clothes. Brendon squeezed Alexander, slightly fearful of the new boy. He was way taller, and could easily beat Brendon's ass if he wanted. He moved a little in his bed, making a slight squeaking noise, also making the boy jump and turn around.

"I-I'm sorry," Brendon quickly said, chewing on his bottom lip as he held Alexander close to his frame. The boy only turned back around, not saying a word to Brendon. "I, um," Brendon spoke up again, making the boy turn back around. "Um, I-I'm new he-here," he told the boy, hoping he would show him around the place. "I'm Br-Brendon," he mumbled, his fingers getting tangled in Alexander's dirty blonde mane. The boy got something from under his bed before coming to Brendon.

I'm Ryan, he wrote down, Brendon only being confused because why wouldn't the kid talk? Brendon took out his hand, Ryan giving him the pencil as he wrote down his response. Why aren't you talking? Brendon asked, Ryan giving off a shrug as he took the pencil back to write. Be careful here, don't trust anyone. Ryan wrote before the door swung open, a lot of boys running in quickly. Ryan left just as fast, if not faster, putting the piece of paper and pencil under his bed. Brendon clutched onto Alexander, scanning the room with scared, chocolate brown eyes. One of the many boys went past him, smirking widely as he checked Brendon out. Brendon could feel his face heat up, but didn't look at the boy again. A different nun came in, her being much older than Sister Abigail, and she looked way stricter as well. With crows feet, wrinkles, and a thin lipped smile, she yelled over the commotion.

"Boys!" she called, making Brendon tuck Alexander away and get off the bed. "Come on, time to go to class," she called, looking at Brendon with a slightly surprised look. As the boys filed out, Brendon was last, not wanting to gain any unwanted attention. "Who are you?" she asked, a more softer tone than Brendon thought she would have.

"Bre-Brendon U-Urie," he stuttered, making the new sister nod slowly. The nun put her hand on his shoulder, leading him into one of the many rooms. It looked like math class, a subject where Brendon was very talented in.

"I'm Sister Margaret, this is one of your classes. Math," she told Brendon, making him nod as he walked in. He could feel her hand leave his shoulder, and the door slam shut as he looked around for an empty seat. The only empty one was by the boy he met earlier, Ryan. He took his seat, seeing that a chubby male was the teacher. He had short, dirty blonde hair with bright green eyes, and a black robe on that matched his black shoes. Why is he wearing a robe? Did he just wake up or something?

"Okay, pass back the papers and do the assignment," he said easily, his eyes running over Brendon a couple times before going to his desk. Brendon took a pencil from the dip in the desk, seeing that it was already sharpened, and started with the problems easily. Looking up, making sure no one was looking, he tore a black part off to write on. Why is he wearing a robe? He wrote, sliding it over to Ryan. Ryan looked at him before looking at the note, but quickly wrote down an answer. Brendon could've sworn he saw him smile a little. He is a monk, Ryan wrote back, but Brendon was still confused on what that meant. So? Brendon wrote down, handing it back to Ryan who just rolled his eyes. A monk is kinda like Sister Margaret, they wear kinda the same robes. Brendon nodded, writing on the his worksheet, filling in the answers before writing back to Ryan. What's his name? Brendon asked, Ryan quickly writing Saint Patrick. Brendon nodded, crumpling up the little piece of paper and putting it in his pocket. After watching Ryan put in his answers, Saint Patrick got up, picking up all the worksheets. Coming to pick up Brendon's paper, he noticed a part missing. He gave the boy a questioning look before picking up that paper.

"What's your name, boy?" he asked, making Brendon look up at the monk. Brendon could see his eyes were filled with confusion, did no one tell anyone he was coming?

"B-Brendon Urie," he mumbled, making Saint Patrick nod as he walked off with the sheets of paper. Some of the boys snickered in front of him, probably because he stuttered. Brendon sank low into his seat, not wanting to be seen by the mean, older boys. Ryan watched Brendon, frowning a little as he saw Sister Margaret come in again, calling the boys for dinner. Brendon got up slowly, taking the pencil and stuffing it in his shoe for later. Just in case he wanted to draw or something. He really loved drawing, even if he wasn't good at it, he thought it was always really fun. Walking out of the classroom last again, he followed Ryan to the cafeteria. It still looks like a prison. The food is probably more disgusting than the food at my school. Brendon got in the slow moving line, grabbing a broken, gray tray. He went through, getting some of the food he couldn't even recognize at first. He got a spoon, some chocolate milk, and looked around because he didn't know where to even sit. It's going to be the same as school, I'm going to sit alone. Brendon headed to an empty table, sitting down on the cold metal bench that was connected to the table. He opened his chocolate milk, smelling it first to make sure it was good or not. Thankfully, it smelled wonderful, making Brendon chug it down quickly. After drinking all of his milk, all he could do was stare at the gooey, white substance on his plate. Not trusting to take one bite, he got up to throw away the leftovers and put his tray back up. As he walked back, some kid with dreadlocks tripped him, making Brendon fly forward. Hitting the floor hard, he whimpered in pain as he could hear a howl of laughter behind him. He could feel his eyes burn as he got up, knowing that he couldn't cry now in front of all the boys. He quickly got to his table, hearing some of the boys call him a fag as he sat down. He bit his tongue, not wanting to say anything back to make them pissed. Brendon didn't want to get beat up his first day here. With his back slouched over, he waited for what he thought was forever for Sister Margaret to come get them.

"Showers," she called, Brendon removing himself slowly, making sure the kid with the dreadlocks wasn't near him. He could already tell that he was a dick to new kids, and he didn't want to even sleep near him. Brendon couldn't believe that they had to take showers together though, he thought the idea was weird. He never had to take showers with anyone else. Not even with his mother when he was little. He was always alone. The cold air hit his skin as soon as he peeled off his clothes, taking a empty corner away from everyone. Now Brendon had a habit while taking a shower; he loved to sing. Singing was one of Brendon's gifts, said so by his other family members. The hot water shook Brendon out of his thoughts, feeling his skin burn slightly as he stood under the shower. He didn't get his hair wet though, knowing that he didn't have a straightener with him here. His hair wouldn't be as straight as it was now, and Brendon hated that. After his washed his body, making sure nobody could see him, and the water automatically shut off. He quickly got one of the towels, wrapping himself up quickly, drying off so he could put his PJs on afterwards. Ryan poked his shoulder, making Brendon flinch and shut his eyes tight. Ryan frowned, turning Brendon around fully and poking him again. Brendon slowly opened his eyes, seeing Ryan's pale, wet face looking at him concerned. Brendon smiled weakly at Ryan, keeping quiet as he filed out to go get dressed.

"Do we g-get dressed i-in h-here?" Brendon asked Ryan, the older boy just nodding as he went over to his bed to get dressed. Brendon looked around before letting his towel fall, quickly getting his clothes from his bag. Putting on an old t-shirt, boxers, and some baggy pants before taking off his shoes, and putting the stolen pencil in his bag. He climbed on his bed, putting Alexander in his lap quickly as Sister Abigail came in to turn off the lights. We're going to bed already? Brendon quickly went under the feathery covers, snuggling tightly against the lion, too paranoid to even sleep. He could hear sounds around him, some people walking, some snoring. Not until someone walked by his bed was he shaking, not wanting anything to happen to him overnight. The door creaked open, showing dim light before it was shut again. Who's leaving? Brendon chewed on his dry bottom lip, anticipating an attack from the older boys. Not until there was a dip in his bed that he let out a whimper, shutting his eyes tightly to block anyone out. A hand was feeling up Brendon's shoulder, not doing anything else except feeling for him. The hand left as soon as he came, making Brendon let out a breath he didn't even know he held inside. He let his heart calm down, but still couldn't go to sleep. Brendon knew it was going to be like this, sleepless nights every night. It wasn't that different from home.


	4. Chapter 3

**A/N: As you can see, it's not like the regular stories. It's okay, it's not supposed to be. **

**Chapter Three**

Ryan got up, same routine every day, quickly changing into his 'appropriate' clothes before Sister Abigail came in. He watched as the other woke up too, most of their bodies being on an alarm for itself. Ryan looked over at the new kid, Brendon, seeing he was fast asleep. Last night Ryan went over, making sure Brendon was okay. He knew he must of scared the boy, coming in the middle of the night without warning, but he was just watching out for him. Sister Abigail came in, ushering the boys out for breakfast. Everyone ran out except for Ryan, knowing that no one else would wake up Brendon. Ryan went over slowly, watching the boy sleep a little before gently pushing his shoulder. Brendon made a grunting noise, mumbling something about him not meaning to do it. Ryan's eyebrows knitted in confusion, shaking the boy more so that he would open his eyes. After a while, Brendon's eyes fluttered open, quickly going wide at the sight of Ryan. He scooted away quickly, making Ryan frown heavily. After realizing it was just Ryan, the boy who seemed to help him throughout the first day, he calmed down while sitting up. Brendon stretched, his arms going up as his back cracked a little, then rubbed his eyes for a while. He could feel Ryan poke him again, making him stop and hold Alexander as he smiled at him weakly. He had tiny bags under his eyes, showing that Ryan was correct, he didn't have any sleep whatsoever.

"He-Hey Ryan," he mumbled, swinging his legs over the side of the bed. The room was cold, making him sigh deeply. He hated to be cold. Ryan quickly went over to his bed, pulling out the pad of paper and pencil, writing down some words before handing it to Brendon. Get dress. Was all it said, making Brendon nod. Brendon quickly got his bag from under his bed, pulling out some ripped, loose blue jeans and a yellow t-shirt. After writing down for Ryan not to look, he got changed quickly. Even if he wasn't going to get naked, he still didn't anyone to see his body. Only his mother has seen him like that, maybe his father if he could remember. His father must of, he had to at least change him when he was a baby. After Brendon was done putting on his old tennis shoes, he wrote quickly on the paper. Where to? He asked, making Ryan write down just as fast. Breakfast. Brendon nodded, waiting for Ryan to put the piece of paper and pencil away before walking out the door. Brendon could see Ryan look around, making sure no one was around, and grabbed Brendon's hand to dash to the cafeteria door. After getting in, they quickly got their trays, getting what it looked to be burnt bacon and toast, applesauce, and milk. Brendon headed for his table, knowing that he would have to sit alone once again, not that he wasn't used to it by now. He wasn't surprised when Ryan sat somewhere else though, knowing the boy was just helping him to be nice. He didn't want to be actual friends with the boy. Brendon sighed, eating the bacon, leaving the toast and apple sauce. He hated both of them. He quickly finished his milk before putting the tray up, waiting for one of the Sisters to take them to wherever they were going next. One Sister Abigail came in, he smiled happily. Brendon really liked the Sister, knowing that she was nice and kind to the children.

"C'mon everyone!" she called, Brendon quickly getting up to get in the front this time. Once he was up there, Sister smiled at him sweetly, and lead the boys out the door to a tiny white walled room. Brendon's eyebrows knitted in confusion, not getting why they were in such a tiny room. A nun came up, giving him a piece of paper and color pencils, and it finally clicked. It's an art room! Brendon grinned, taking the materials and going to an empty corner to draw in. He knew exactly what he could draw. After getting started, he saw Ryan come up to see by him. Brendon smiled widely, Ryan offering a small smile back, and quickly got back to work. Brendon got done quite quickly, but he had drawn Alexander so many times he had lost count. After hearing that they would be showing their drawings, Brendon got really nervous. What if they don't like it? What if they laugh at me? Brendon chewed on his lip, watching the boy with dreads go up and present his. What.. What is it? Brendon squinted, seeing random shapes and colors everywhere. It started to hurt Brendon's eyes after a while, so he just left it. Next kid was a chubby brunette by the name of Spencer, and he looked just as nervous as Brendon did. His baby blue eyes hid behind the paper, showing a kind of Halloween setting. Brendon liked it though, it was really cool looking. "Brendon!" Sister Abigail called, making him frown slightly. He got up, still chewing on his lip as he went in front of everyone. He could feel Ryan's hazel eyes watching him carefully, making Brendon feel slightly better than before. He held up the drawing, looking down as he spoke quietly.

"Th-This is m-my stuffed an-animal A-Alexander," he mumbled, making some of the boys laugh loudly. He could the kid with the dreads laugh loudly, pointing at him as he elbowed some of his buddies. Brendon could feel his eyes sting, quickly leaving the center of the room and going back to his corner. As he sat down, he crumbled up his paper, throwing it at the wall, making it come back and hit him on the nose. Brendon almost lost it then, but pulled his knees up to his chest as he ignored the worried look Ryan gave him. He could feel his hand on his shoulder, making Brendon scoot away to the wall. He didn't need comfort. I've been through worse.

Ryan frowned as Brendon scooted away, looking at the piece of crumpled paper. He picked it up, stuffing it in his pocket for later. The drawing wasn't bad, it was actually really cute. The older boys just made fun of it because Brendon was stuttering. Ryan thought it made Brendon even more adorable, but he knew the younger boy must of gotten made fun of all the time. Ryan got up, knowing when Sister Abigail called everyone, and poked Brendon's shoulder. Brendon revealed his head, eyes wet but his face dry. Ryan knew that if Brendon kept keeping in his emotions he would break sooner or later. Ryan sighed as he outstretched his hand, Brendon taking it reluctantly as he stood up. They filed out of the room, now going outside to play for about an hour. Ryan just sat in the corner, watching all the boys. He didn't bother joining them, and they didn't bother asking. They have a silent agreement since day one.

"W-Where are w-we going?" Brendon asked, making Ryan turn around to face the shorter boy. Brendon didn't know any of the schedule except for Math class, showers, bed. Ryan pointed to the door, Brendon still confused because he couldn't tell where it went. "Why won't you talk?" he asked, slightly irritated with Ryan, wanting to hear his voice for once. It's probably nice and soft. Ryan just shrugged, making Brendon even more angrier than he already was. He didn't ask again, knowing he wouldn't get an answer. I might never at this rate. Brendon soon found out as the boys entered a large yard, with equally large stone walls to keep anyone from running. There was even spiky barbed wire on the top to make sure. It is a prison. Brendon looked around, seeing some kids running to play four-square, tag, or jump rope. Brendon wanted to go play four-square, knowing that he could easily beat everyone. He was a four-square master. Brendon went over, seeing all the extremely older kids start to play, and waited in line like the rest. After a couple people getting in and out, it was Brendon's turn to get in. He grinned, stepping into the square, but something wasn't right. No one was playing. Brendon looked around confused, frowning heavily as he saw the four-square leader; the dreadlocks kid.

"You can't play here," he said, smirking as he looked around at the other boys for approval. The other older boys exclaimed in agreement, making Brendon scowl at them.

"W-Why n-not?!" he spoke up loudly, making some of the other boys snicker at his stutter. Brendon's spirit sank back down, knowing he would never be taken seriously if he kept the stutter.

"B-Be-Because we d-don't pl-play with fa-faggots!" the dreads boy laughed, rolling his eyes as he bounced the red ball a couple times. The other guys were laughing hard, grinning as Brendon could feel tears rim around his eyes.

"S-Shit, Pete!" one of the boy's laughed loudly, Brendon squinted his eyes, growling as he spoke up loudly. So his name is Pete?

"W-Well! I do-don't play wi-with douchebags," he yelled, storming off quickly before one of the kids beat him up for it. Brendon made his way to Ryan, throwing himself down by him. Brendon brought his knees to his chest, wrapping them with his tiny arms. "I ha-hate this pl-place, no-nobody likes me," he grumbled, wiping his eyes quickly before any tears could fall. Ryan looked over, frowning, putting his arm around the boy's shoulder. Brendon scooted closer, hiding his face in Ryan's shoulder for the rest of the hour. Brendon must of fell asleep again because he woke up to Ryan poking his shoulder. Sister Abigail was calling them in for lunch, and Brendon smiled a little as he thought about eating. Brendon got up, walking with Ryan as they exited the court yard to the dirty cafeteria. As they got their trays, Brendon could smell something like pizza. His wide eyes looked around to see it was infact pizza, but it looked burnt as the bacon. Brendon sighed, taking the cheese pizza, applesauce, and chocolate milk, then headed for his table. He started to open his milk when Ryan sat beside him, Brendon smiled widely at the older boy. Ryan offered a tiny smile as he started to eat his food. "Wh-Why is Pete s-so me-mean?" he asked, chugging down most of his milk already. Ryan sighed a little, shrugging as he started to eat his pizza. Brendon knew that would happen, and he started to eat his pizza slowly.

"Hey faggot!" Pete yelled behind him, making Brendon flinch as he hoped they weren't coming over here. "Hey! I'm talking to you!" he yelled again, pushing Brendon's back as he came up, making Brendon whimper as old sharp pains ran up his back. When Brendon ignored Pete again, he felt Pete's fingers getting tangled in his hair, shoving his face into the saucey cheese pizza. Brendon whimper loudly, struggling to get Pete's hand off so he could breathe. Ryan growled, not being able to watch it anymore as he stood up, punching Pete in the face harshly.

"You fucking prick!" Ryan yelled, making Pete and his whole group's eyes go wide. Brendon quickly got his face out of the pizza, standing up as he looked at Ryan with amazement as well. He is talking. "C'mon," Ryan mumbled, taking Brendon hand, quickly walking out of the cafeteria to the bathrooms to wash Brendon up.

"Ry-Ryan! You're talking!" Brendon exclaimed, only to be shushed by the older boy. Brendon bit his tongue, wanting to say so much more, but they could get caught. Once in the bathroom, he let Brendon sit on the floor, getting a paper towel wet to clean his red face. Brendon watched as Ryan knelt beside him, softly wiping off the sauce off of his face. "R-Ryan?" he mumbled, Ryan didn't stop though, he kept wiping it all off.

"What?" he asked, finally getting it all off as he threw away the paper towel. Brendon looked at him with wide eyes, not knowing what to even say now that he was talking.

"Y-You're t-talking," Brendon said, making Ryan nod slowly as he stood up. He outstretched his hand, Brendon taking it quickly. Ryan didn't let go, their fingers properly intertwining, making Brendon blush. "Why?" he asked as they made their way out, Ryan stopping around corners to make sure no Saints or Sisters were around. They finally got to their room, Ryan leading Brendon to his bed. Once Brendon sat down, Ryan went off to get Alexander. "Why?" Brendon repeated, wanting to know. Ryan never spoke since he was here. It's been weeks since he was here too, not even one single peep from the older boy.

"Because Pete is an asshole," he finally said, crawling into bed and giving Brendon the lion. Ryan laid down, bringing Brendon down as well. "I'm sorry," he mumbled after a while, his fingers caressing Brendon's hair as he watched the ceiling.

"W-What for?" Brendon asked, holding both Alexander and Ryan close. He didn't expect the first couple of words from Ryan to be 'I'm sorry'. Well, he didn't expect Ryan to speak at all.

"Not helping you, leaving you alone. I'm sorry," he mumbled again, sighing loudly. "I should've talked to you, I knew I should've talked," Ryan rambled, making Brendon shake his head.

"R-Ryan, no, it-it's fine," he stuttered, Ryan cutting off Brendon again.

"No, trust me, I was being a dick," Ryan mumbled, feeling Brendon lay his head on his chest. Ryan pulled Brendon closer, knowing that he shouldn't have these feelings for the young boy. He's too young, he is ten! It stayed silent after that, no one daring to talk as they laid there. Ryan could've sworn that Brendon was asleep, but the younger boy spoke up.

"My m-mommy is s-supposed to pick me u-up on my bi-birthday," Brendon told Ryan, the older boy still keeping quiet though. Brendon knew his birthday was coming up, it had to be. It felt like he was in here for years now, only to be weeks in fact.

"When's your birthday?" Ryan asked, knowing that they were probably in class by now. Good thing that Sister Abigail was on duty, knowing that she wouldn't look for them. She was the only nice nun at the boy's home. The rest fake to be nice, but if you're out of line once they will punish you severely.

"Ap-April twelfth," Brendon mumbled, remembering his last birthday that they held at a circus. That was before his father left, and his mother was really nice to him. She would tuck him in at night, kiss him on the forehead, read him bedtime stories. She acted like a real mother. They had really cool clowns at his birthday, some zebras, and really flexible acrobats that walked on a tightrope. It was the best birthday yet, and he wondered what birthday his mother planned for him this year. Maybe it was going to be a aquarium themed birthday party, something told his mother months after his last birthday. The day before he father left.

"It's coming up soon," Ryan smiled, seeing Brendon's eyes get wide with happiness. Brendon sat up a little, looking at Ryan with unsure.

"H-How do you kn-know?" Brendon asked, since none of the Sisters or Saints told him what day it was. Even if he asked, they would ignore him and move on. Brendon couldn't understand why they didn't tell.

"I count the days," Ryan started, "See those marks over there?" he asked, Brendon looking over and nodding slowly. "I mark out the sticks when the day ends," he mumbled, "Been doing that since I came here," he admitted.

"O-Oh, how long h-have you been here?" Brendon asked, feeling sleepy. He didn't want to fall asleep though, he was fine talking to Ryan the rest of the time.

"Too long," Ryan laughed dryly, "Shh, you're sleepy... Go to sleep, I'll wake you," he mumbled, making Brendon nod as he laid his head back down. Brendon could feel Ryan's lips on his temple, smiling as he closed his eyes. Brendon fell asleep quickly as Ryan played with his hair, actually getting a good rest since he came here.

Brendon woke up to kids entering the room, Ryan genitally getting Brendon up before any of the sisters saw them together like this. As Brendon woke up fully, he could hear snickers from the other boys. He sat up quickly, yawning as he looked around to see most of them staring at them. Brendon blushed, quickly taking Alexander and jumping off the bed to put him away. Brendon tucked Alexander away, getting a slight shove from Pete once more.

"So your boyfriend saved you, huh?" he called, making Brendon frown. "Do you think that's gonna stop me?" he asked, shoving Brendon on the bed, making the younger boy flinch as he shut his eyes tightly.

"Fuck off Pete," Ryan came over, making Pete laugh as he back away with hands in the air. As Brendon opened his eyes slowly, he could see Ryan standing in front of him. Brendon eased a little, standing up behind Ryan. Since Ryan was so tall, he was mostly hidden from Pete.

"I like it better when you kept your mouth shut, Ross!" Pete yelled, storming off towards his bed. Brendon smiled slightly, knowing that he Ryan was around he would be be protected from Pete and his group. Ryan turned around, seeing Brendon smile made him do the same. Ryan's lanky fingers ruffled the boy's hair, Sister Abigail coming in so they could eat dinner. As they walked out, Pete shoved his way through again. Brendon stuck out his tongue behind his back, making Sister giggle slightly. Ryan rolled his eyes fondly as they entered the cafe, getting their trays to eat some more prison food. I wonder if it's going to be burnt this time. Brendon snickered a little, feeling way better since the past hour. Brendon got his food, a peanut butter jelly sandwich, fruit cup, and chocolate milk. Quickly going to their table, he scooted the peanut butter and jelly sandwich as far as he could.

"What's wrong?" Ryan asked as he sat down, his eyebrows knitted together. Brendon chewed on his bottom lip, getting his milk open.

"I-I can't have peanut bu-butter, I'm a-ller-gic," he mumbled, sipping on the chocolate milk quickly. Ryan nodded, his hand reaching out to take the sandwich, but gave Brendon his fruit cup. "Y-You sure?" Brendon asked, looking at Ryan with worried eyes. Ryan nodded, knowing that he wouldn't miss out on eating the fruit, but Brendon needed to eat all that he could. He was really tiny for his age, but so was Ryan really. Actually, all the boys here were underweight. Brendon smiled widely, taking the extra fruit up and opening it first to eat. After eating them both and drinking his milk, Brendon wasn't full, but kept his mouth shut.

Ryan spoke up, "Tell me if Pete starts being a dick again." The older boy meant no harm, just looking out for the younger boy, but Brendon took offense. He shook his head, sitting up straight as if to make himself look taller.

"I c-can take care of m-myself!" he boasted, scowling a little at Ryan. Ryan just weakly smiled at him, inside knowing he really couldn't unless he wanted to get beat up first. "I-I know how to fight," Brendon said, making Ryan arch a brow, his eyes asking when did he learn. "I-I had too.. I finally had t-to because of my mommy," Brendon confessed, Ryan immediately knowing about what Brendon was talking about. Brendon went quiet after that, not wanting to spare anymore painful details, even if he did trust Ryan a lot. Ryan gave Brendon a sympathetic look, ruffling his hair as he stood up to throw his empty tray away. Brendon drank the rest of his milk, throwing his tray away as well, and sitting back down with Ryan. Sister Abigail quickly called for the boys, Brendon and Ryan walking together like they always did.


	5. Chapter 4

**A/N: Sorry this chapter is so short, but it will get longer in time. Hope you guys like and review -frnkxoxo**

Brendon's whimpers could be heard throughout the room filled with bunks, him having probably another nightmare about his mother and father. Something to do with home. With Alexander clutched in his grip tightly, he rolled over with another pleading whimper. Ryan was used to it by now, getting out of his bed to get into Brendon's. Ryan poked Brendon's shoulder, softly murmuring in his ear to scoot over. Brendon's eyes shot open, breathing heavily as he looked at Ryan with a fearful expression. Ryan got into bed with Brendon, getting under the covers with the young boy. Brendon relaxed with Ryan by his side, curling up against him happily.

"I-I'm sorry," Brendon muttered guiltily into his skin, throwing his tiny arm over Ryan's waist. Ryan let his arm sank under Brendon, placing his hand on his waist firmly to show he was going to here all night.

"Shh, it's fine Bren.." Ryan yawned, feeling Alexander in between them. Ryan had gotten used to Alexander being there, knowing he helped Brendon do anything he was afraid of. Ryan was grateful for the furry, stuffed lion. Ryan could hear Brendon snore after a while, knowing that he could fall asleep now. They spent most nights like this, wrapped up in each other's arms as they fell asleep. One time they got caught, but since it was Sister Abigail, she only shook her head with a soft smile towards them. She thought they were adorable together. Ryan smiled at the thought, shifting so that Brendon's head was buried in the crook of his neck. The door creaked open, showing most of the older boy's coming back from the younger boys' room. Ryan shook his head, not even wanting to fathom what happened to the poor boys, and fell asleep quickly by Brendon's side.

Brendon woke up with a yawn, a warm body pressed up against his frame. Brendon looked over to see Ryan staring at the white patterns on the ceiling, and poked him softly. Ryan looked over, smiling at him softly as he poked back.

"I-Is it early?" Brendon asked, looking at the barred window with his eyebrows knitted together. Brendon wondered why they were still in their beds, all of the rest of the guys still sleeping.

"Bren, it's Christmas! We get to sleep in," Ryan said excitedly, grinning now. Brendon's eyes went huge, it was Christmas already?! Brendon sat up a little, grinning along with Ryan now.

"Chr-Christmas?! Do w-we celebrate it?" Brendon asked, knowing they didn't celebrate Halloween like he wanted too. Brendon loved to dress up, he wanted to be Batman this year. Batman was his favorite super hero since he didn't have any superpowers and still kicked butt.

"Yeah, since it's celebrating Jesus or something," Ryan told, knowing that he wasn't a Christian himself, so he didn't care celebrating Jesus' birthday. He liked Christmas the regular way, snow, presents, Christmas tree, family and friends, and holiday food. Not praying to a God he didn't even believe in.

"Re-Really?!" Brendon sat up, now being very loud. Ryan shhed him, giggling as he nodded. "Merry Ch-Christmas R-Ry!" Brendon cheered, only in a more of a shout-whisper instead of yelling.

"Merry Christmas Bren," Ryan laughed, both of them sitting up, backs against the wall. Ryan leaned over, hugging Brendon before slipping off of his bed. "I got you something," Ryan quickly got under his bed to get the present, "Sorry, I couldn't wrap it." Ryan came back over quietly, handing the boy a bead bracelet that had their names on it. Brendon's eye lit up, smiling sweetly at Ryan as he put on the colorful bracelet.

"Th-Thank you!" he exclaimed, slipping it on easily, but it was tight enough not to slip down his wrist. Brendon played with it for a while, reading over and over in his head: Ryan and Brendon, Ryan and Brendon. It was so cute. Brendon's face soon fell, turning towards Ryan, "Bu-But, I didn't get an-anything for you." Brendon wanted to give Ryan something as well, now feeling guilty that someone got him a present. Ryan shook his head, waving his hand off as if it was nothing.

"I don't care Bren, you don't have too," he told the younger boy, knowing it was hard enough to get the martiles for the bracelet. Brendon still looked guilty, and Ryan poked him on the nose, 'I have you, that's enough for me." I have you by my side, that's all I need. Brendon slightly blushed, scrunching up his nose in a cute, funny way after Ryan poked it.

"F-Fine," Brendon sighed, smiling again as he wrapped his arms around Ryan's neck. Brendon could feel Ryan's arms wrap around him as well, making Brendon almost get pushed into the older boy's lap. Brendon pecked Ryan's cheek before releasing the boy and paying his attention to the bracelet. As Brendon played with the beads and string, Ryan watched him with blush painted across his cheeks. "W-When do we leave t-then?" the younger boy asked, looking up at Ryan with his huge brown eyes.

"We don't have a clock, but from my calculations, around twelve," Ryan answered, sniffing a little since during the winter time, he would easily get sick. It didn't matter if he was inside or outside, which to this, annoyed Ryan.

"Cal-cu-la.. What?" Brendon asked, frowning slightly. Since Brendon didn't pay that much attention in school, he didn't know the 'big' words the older kids would use. Ryan only chuckled, shaking his head a little.

"Calculation, it means.." Ryan stopped, wondering how he could put it in terms that the younger boy would understand. "Do you know what the word estimate means?" Ryan asked, knowing that he should at least know that word.

"Y-Yeah, it means a-about right?" Brendon asked, knowing they used the word estimate a lot in math. Ryan nodded with a tiny smile.

"Yeah, it means that sorta, like it's an guess pretty much," Ryan licked his lips, hearing some of the other older boys wake up loudly. Mostly groans and moans from them, whining about the bright light that shined through the barred windows. Brendon watched some of them, mostly focusing on Pete. Brendon couldn't let his guard down around that boy, knowing he would try something to harm him. He didn't understand really, he didn't see the fun and/or point in making fun of him. Maybe it's just an older boy thing. Brendon yawned, rubbing his eyes one more time before getting comfortable under the covers. Since they could sleep in, or relax, until twelve, Brendon wanted to rest. Ryan followed Brendon's lead, laying beside him as well.

"D-Do any of the S-Saints or Sisters give us pr-presents?" Brendon asked, wondering if they would have a somewhat normal holiday.

"Kinda, they fix us a really good breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I think that's their gift to us," Ryan said, knowing that they actually tried to cook on Christmas. Nothing burnt, nothing under cooked, nothing spoiled. Everything tasted good.

"T-That sounds nice," Brendon mumbled, his tiny frame curling against the older boy's body to get warm. Even if Brendon's skin was extremely warm all the time, him not being able to feel it, he could get very cold. That's why Ryan only could cuddle with the boy for so long until he almost suffocated in warmth. Brendon closed his eyes, not going to go to sleep, but it felt nice with his eyes shut.


End file.
